I haven’t blogged in so long, I almost forgot how to.
Summer’s been great. I can’t complain, life’s been good when everyone was here. Now that school’s starting soon and I can’t help but feel like my world is crashing down. Why?
ONE; I feel like I lost almost everyone that I was close to.
My buttcheek .. you moving down to Virginia really gave me a fright. Sometimes I can’t help to wonder and think about who is REALLY your best friend. I feel like we lost a lot of something during high school that we can never really gain or get back. A whole 4 years went by and I wasn’t there. As for Jackie .. she was there for all of it. Sometimes I really adore her for being so close to you, as for me we’re still buttcheeks but its hard for me to relate to you cause I missed so much during high school. Everyday I think about you, “what if you were here doing this with me?” “what if ..” I really do miss you buttcheek. I just want to be your best friend again.
Abc, you guys mean a lot to me. I only wish you guys the best of everything. This summer made us close than we can ever be and only broke us apart when summer ended. I feel like our group separated into two. One with Ivan and Jon Jon and the other with Marvin, Andrew and me. Where to start? Well .. drugs. This is a new year and right now we have a clean plate in front of us. I hope we can take advantage of what we have and finally STOP and stay clean. I want to see all of us succeed in the future, for our family, for our children, for ourselves. All I’m asking is for you guys to stop doing drugs, which ever kind it is: weed, xtc, shrooms, everything and anything. Be good to your body. Be good to yourselves. I love you guys and I honestly want the best. So please STOP.
TWO; I feel like I let myself down. I don’t like being home but I have no choice but to stay here. Everyone else is leaving for college and I’m stuck here .. with no one. I really feel like I’m wasting my time here, rotting. Rotting away.
THREE; You’re still making my head spin boy. I fell hard for you, I really did, and its so hard to let go. But I’m trying. Every once in awhile, I still pray for us. I pray for US to work. Whenever I see couples out, I think about us. I imagine us being them and being happy for once without having to hide it, without having to hide US. I always wonder if you actually do care. Do you still care? I used to be able to tell by the way we kissed. When our lips touched, I felt the passion and the love. But its been to long. We hardly talk and I promised myself I would not talk to you unless you take action first. And if you did, it just meant that we were meant to be, and I’m still hopeing for it. All the things I wanted to do with YOU this summer .. I ended up doing them with other people. LA county fair, ice skating, watching the meteor shower .. I really do miss you. I want to talk to you everyday but I won’t do it. I sign offline, so I don’t have the urge to IM you. And because you don’t have my new number and there’s no way you can contact me either. I know, I’m stupid. I just wanted to say that I miss you. You’re so confusing and I just wish you would let me in and just let love in. I know we can make it work fag. I know we can, IF only you can just let me in. Just try babe, just try♥
This summer was a life changing experience. High school is finally over, welcome college life.
