On a brighter note, I read about you and your boyfriend. I want to ask what happened, I want to tell you that I’m here for yo secretly. I want to tell yo “I told you so.” I want my best friend back but it’s already too late. It’s been too long without you and sometimes I don’t even miss you. I know you’re trying to find yourself out there by being real and true but you seem lonely. I wish I can be your shoulder to lean on like old times but it won’t happen. I hope everything works out for you. I hope you find yourself and one day realize that you fucked up and one day we can actually be friends again /:
I just wanted to talk, when do we ever talk? When do we actually take the time and talk on the phone like we use to? “Like we use to,” that sounds familiar after saying so many time. Don’t you get the fucken hint after saying it so many times that I wanted to talk on the fucken phone?! You make me so mad. Even after I hang up you didn’t call me back, I question myself .. What kind of boyfriend ARE you? Seriously! -__- it’s 247am and I’m blogging cause I’m so frustrated and mad ugh!
My boyfriend’s ex girlfriend keeps poping up in my “friend suggestion.” I’m tired of looking at her profile picture. Yeah, she’s cute and all but I don’t like her. I don’t know her personally but just the fact that she’s his ex bothers me very much so. I don’t want anything to do with her. But I wouldn’t mind if he became friends with her, which is unlikely. I haven’t felt jelously in a long time, I wonder why. And I’m still not jealous but regardless, she just gets under my skin /: anyways, goodnight world !
i totally forgot i had a tumblr, for a year now?
so much has changed and it’s only been a year.
i don’t even know where exactly to start.
summer has been great to me so far, although i have summer school. i can’t complain cause i actually feel like i’m doing something with my summer other then sitting at home and using the laptop all day. other than summer school i have work as well, and that’s going BLAH. asdfghjkl;
there’s seriously too much to blog about, i think it’ll take a whole night LOL :)
not too long ago i got into a car accident, and from that point on i never feel like driving again. i use to LOVE driving but, there’s something about cars i don’t like anymore. not only that but i also got a speeding ticket on las tunas going “46mph” on a 35 mile zone. TOTAL BULLSHIT ]: i haven’t told my parents yet either, its better that they know than don’t know. its not like they’re paying for it, so it shouldn’t even matter to them. i’m a big girl, i can handle! :)
lets see, what else? well, theres this boy :)
he makes me happy, sad, and even a big bitch sometimes. but we manage to be a good pair at times. not in a million years that i thought we would be together, but shit happens for a reason and i’m pretty happy with where i’m at now in life.
abc? i still believe that we’ll be life long friends no matter how less we talk. i know for sure in any situation you guys would totally have my back 101%! i love you guys although we have gone our separate ways now. i don’t blame you guys, we all changed but its only for the better of course. i’m not even scared thinking about us in the future because i know you guys would be there no matter what. i feel too confident about our friendship, its because i love you guys :)
i might as well blog about it here also. so i’ve been thinking about you alot lately. i don’t mean to but after all those years you can’t expect me to erase you out of my life. yes, i’ll admit. i miss you and think about you alot but as well as i know myself, its better that you’re not in my life. this way i won’t have to worry and care for you anymore. you have him and i have my friends. its just funny how life can make a 360 in just about a year. i’ve known you since kindergarten, we’ve been best friends since middle school all the way through high school. never did i think that we would no longer be friends. sometimes i wish you would regret what you did and finally realize that you left your best friends for some shitty lifestyle with cigs and drugs. you act as if your happy sometimes but then i read your blogs and such and you seem like such a miserable person inside. not that i want you to be, but lets just say i know you better than that. i miss you, i miss how things use to be, i miss doing everything with you, i miss telling you everything. and most of all i miss having my best friend right next to me. i hope you’re doing well, i hope you miss me as well, and i hope you do well in the future. good luck. its different.
dakgjaghdj sooooooo. i’m done :)
I haven’t blogged in so long, I almost forgot how to.
Summer’s been great. I can’t complain, life’s been good when everyone was here. Now that school’s starting soon and I can’t help but feel like my world is crashing down. Why?
ONE; I feel like I lost almost everyone that I was close to.
My buttcheek .. you moving down to Virginia really gave me a fright. Sometimes I can’t help to wonder and think about who is REALLY your best friend. I feel like we lost a lot of something during high school that we can never really gain or get back. A whole 4 years went by and I wasn’t there. As for Jackie .. she was there for all of it. Sometimes I really adore her for being so close to you, as for me we’re still buttcheeks but its hard for me to relate to you cause I missed so much during high school. Everyday I think about you, “what if you were here doing this with me?” “what if ..” I really do miss you buttcheek. I just want to be your best friend again.
Abc, you guys mean a lot to me. I only wish you guys the best of everything. This summer made us close than we can ever be and only broke us apart when summer ended. I feel like our group separated into two. One with Ivan and Jon Jon and the other with Marvin, Andrew and me. Where to start? Well .. drugs. This is a new year and right now we have a clean plate in front of us. I hope we can take advantage of what we have and finally STOP and stay clean. I want to see all of us succeed in the future, for our family, for our children, for ourselves. All I’m asking is for you guys to stop doing drugs, which ever kind it is: weed, xtc, shrooms, everything and anything. Be good to your body. Be good to yourselves. I love you guys and I honestly want the best. So please STOP.
TWO; I feel like I let myself down. I don’t like being home but I have no choice but to stay here. Everyone else is leaving for college and I’m stuck here .. with no one. I really feel like I’m wasting my time here, rotting. Rotting away.
THREE; You’re still making my head spin boy. I fell hard for you, I really did, and its so hard to let go. But I’m trying. Every once in awhile, I still pray for us. I pray for US to work. Whenever I see couples out, I think about us. I imagine us being them and being happy for once without having to hide it, without having to hide US. I always wonder if you actually do care. Do you still care? I used to be able to tell by the way we kissed. When our lips touched, I felt the passion and the love. But its been to long. We hardly talk and I promised myself I would not talk to you unless you take action first. And if you did, it just meant that we were meant to be, and I’m still hopeing for it. All the things I wanted to do with YOU this summer .. I ended up doing them with other people. LA county fair, ice skating, watching the meteor shower .. I really do miss you. I want to talk to you everyday but I won’t do it. I sign offline, so I don’t have the urge to IM you. And because you don’t have my new number and there’s no way you can contact me either. I know, I’m stupid. I just wanted to say that I miss you. You’re so confusing and I just wish you would let me in and just let love in. I know we can make it work fag. I know we can, IF only you can just let me in. Just try babe, just try♥
This summer was a life changing experience. High school is finally over, welcome college life.
Sometimes I wish I can play the piano .. I love the way it sounds when someone plays it. It makes me think about life and how simple it is. But then again there are so many obstacles in between.
Hahaa anyways :)
Its never too late to learn anything though.
But piano playing .. wowdeeeful [:
Serenade me.
Very inspirational, don’t cha think? :D
